Jokes

[sugarcoatednz]

Okay so what are some of your favourite jokes.

[link15]

Being a kindergarten teacher, I only hear the silly ones like


Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Cause 7 8 9 (seven ate nine)

Silly I know!

[Queen G]

Or....

A guy shows up to a halloween costume party, not wearing a costume, just walking around with a girl on his back.

Finally, someone asks him what he's supposed to be and he says 'a turtle'.

He's asked 'why do you have that girl on your back?'

He says.....'that's Michelle'





get it? 'That's Michelle'...'That's My shell'


*ducks for cover and listens to the groans*

[iminlovewithjames]

Why did Tigger have to take a shower?
- - Because he played with Pooh all day !!

heheheh

[Jade]

This one is for Life goes on, who had her system crashed down recently. Carolyn, I'm thinking of you...


Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay. Now my database has gone away. Oh I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, There's not half the files there used to be, And there's a deadline hanging over me The system crashed so suddenly. I pushed something wrong - What it was I could not say. Now all my data's gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay. Yesterday, The need for backups seemed so far away. I knew my data was all here to stay. Now I believe in yesterday.

[loraline]

rofl... like that one...

[sugarcoatednz]

What do you call a travelling flea

A itch hiker

[Jade]

May 16, 2008 21:03:32 GMT -5 johngarrison said:

What is your favourite joke?

the music industry

Guess we can't top this one... never ever...

Not sure if it's ;D ;D ;D
or rather
since it is as sad as it is true...

[kerpea30]

Just thought this was funny and I would share...

Computer Gender

Women claim that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.


Men concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

[loraline]

;D ;D ;D

[littlesnowflake]

;D ;D

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND...

10. Cats' facial expressions

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds

7. Fat clothes

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

3. Eyelash curlers

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

1. OTHER WOMEN

[kerpea30]

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.

They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and
family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say
about you?

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was the
greatest doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful
husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our
children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies,
"I would like to hear them say... LOOK!!! HE'S MOVING!!!!!"

[Lucy]

I'v found this web about music jokes www.mikelull.com/jokes.htm

This joke is one of the only two that makes me laugh:

Q. What's the difference between the owner of a night club and the PLO*?
A. You can negotiate with the PLO.

*PLO n (abr de Palestine Liberation Organization)

[Jade]

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter. He's not going to come anyway.

(ouch...)

[kerpea30]

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'
'Mrs. Sanders, please.'

'Speaking.'

'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'

'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'

'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.

'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'

'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'

'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.’